Dear Mr.Zahid Hamidi,
We believe our letter will no doubt find you, sitting in a tank, surrounded by well-armed troops and staring grimly at the horizon, for any sign of a rabble horde, carrying pick and axe, intent on overturning the current establishment.
This may be a poor time for us to presume to correct your language, but we really feel we must, before it is too late. You had apparently, as reported in the Star yesterday, accused the opposition of inciting the people to undertake a coup d'etat. We feel compelled to point out, that coup d'etats are generally carried out by small members of the existing establishment, usually the military. The term you are looking for, we suspect, is Popular Revolt.
The opposition appears to have aroused your ire, by claiming that the BN is autocratic and undemocratic. We hope your autocratic response will put them in their place. And they really should have got used to undemocracy by now.
On another note, we congratulate you on your remarkable show of fealty to Mr.Najib. You had apparently declared yesterday, your squat body aquiver with passionate loyalty, that you would defend him to the death. We feel certain that the sparse Merlimau crowd of a hundred or so, consisting mostly of paid BN workers, who witnessed your Ciceronian oratory, would have been most impressed.
In view of the alarming nature of your recent statements, we have stocked up on all essential groceries and supplies. And locked all our doors.
We trust there is real basis to your warnings, for otherwise, we must advise you that the Defence Minister of a Nation should really be more circumspect.
And maintain some minimum of decorum and dignity.
Yours in Chilled Alarm,